Anguish

I have felt anguish- It happens to most people, without an explanation or reason. Why is there suffering and hurt in the world? Why is there pain?

My husband & I found out a few months ago we were pregnant. Which is shocking news to us since we were under the impression it was not possible for us- ( but then again, ANYTHING is possible with God!) -
Our ultra sounds have been beautiful, showing our dear little one's beating heart. He/ She was to be due in March 2014. As you can see I have used the word "was". I went in for my 9 1/2 week check up- and the heartbeat was gone. Our baby, our dear baby passed around 8 weeks. I cried all the way home and decided to drive to see my husband at work - I hadn't called him to tell him what happened.
This past Saturday they did a surgery on me and removed our baby from my body. Not only physically painful but tremendously emotionally painful. My baby...my dear, dear baby.
I have thanked the Lord everyday for this child and prayed for he/she to be healthy. Then the day I found out our baby had died I prayed differently. I thought about my baby being in the arms of her/his Father. That my baby would not ever experience pain, or cry, or ever feel unloved. My baby opened his/her eyes and saw our dear Savior! What can I say? Yes, my heart grieves more than I can say. I truly cannot put into words what I am feeling. At any given time of day I just cry....But the TRUTH is God knows best- God has a plan- God is in control- God cares for me and my hurting heart- God loves me- God has my baby in His arms. What more can I ask?

I struggle daily -trying to keep going. It seems like life should stop but it does not. People still need Jesus, People still need love- My husband needs me to clean our home, love him, listen to him, cook our meals and to continue trying ..the list goes on. We have had birthday parties, invites to base ball games, a guy Tyler works with had a going away party as he is moving etc. The list goes on. I want to stop and weep. I hurt ...and yes I go to these events and try...but in the quietness when I am alone I mourn. I lay on the ground with my face on the floor and cry for our loss.

I imagine my baby seeing me crying...and calling me "mama" telling me not to cry. That if I could see where he/she is in Heaven I would be so happy- I wonder if he/she see's the lion laying next to the lamb, the street of gold, if he/she is with other babies who never made it out of the womb. Either way the Lord is good. In the good and in the bad I must always say, Blessed be the name of the Lord.

I am hurting and yes I mourn but I remember Job in the bible and all the loss he suffered...both physically and emotionally and yet, he never cursed the name of the Lord.

Lord, my heart is heavy and my body very weak...in every way. You are my Healer. You see my pain and You fully understand.

" ' Oh,' said the gardener, as he passed down the garden-walk, 'Who plucked that flower? Who gathered that plant?' His fellow-servants answered, 'The Master!' And the gardener held his peace."
                                                                               Elizabeth Prentiss

Our Anniversary

Today Tyler & I celebrate four years of marriage...it doesn't sound like a long time but - it has felt like a long time. It also feels like it has gone by so fast. Tyler worked today & tonight we have stayed in. We were planning a hike tomorrow but it is suppose to rain all day. Go figure...the one day it rains in Arizona! I thought a lot today about our marriage- the struggles, the blessing, the tears and the laughing...and I found myself truly being thankful to God that we have come this far. We are two sinners trying to live together, while also growing closer to our Lord. When one struggles- we both struggle.
 I went to my sister's wedding in May last year. It was a time of joy & celebration. I was so blessed to be a part of the wedding- to see what God joined together. It was a beautiful wedding - Lake Michigan in the background, sun shining, a stunning bride & a groom with delight in his eye's all ending with a reception that will never be forgotten.

 

 

The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam^[g] there was not found a helper fit for him. ²¹ So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. ²² And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made^[h] into a woman and brought her to the man. ²³ Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”^[i]

²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. ²⁵ And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

 

This is beautiful. My sister & the new groom became one flesh... Something that is hard for me to fully grasp.

So today I prayed...I praised God for our marriage...for how we have grown...for God's faithfulness. I then prayed & I will continue to pray...BE GLORIFIED in my life, in my work, in MY MARRIAGE.

 

To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen

Adventure

Yesterday was my husbands birthday! I surprised him with "birthday" pancakes (an idea from Pinterest)

 - Then we fell back asleep.lol After we woke back up we decided to go out for supper & go watch the Hobbit. We haven't been to a movie in almost a year- I am a horrible movie watcher. What I mean is that I get bored quickly & I like to be able to get up and move if I want. So I really didn't want to go to watch the Hobbit....all the Lord of the Rings movies are sooooo long (but good, I know).
But for Tyler's birthday I really wanted to go for him. Well, what can I say? I loved it! I was so excited thru the whole movie & half way thru it I turned to my husband & told him I want to go on an adventure! I am serious too. I talked to God about this. I know He can make all things possible - And truly when I look at my life it has been an adventure...just not like the hobbits. lol

Over all we had a great day. We came home to our kitty who was happy to see us!

 

Waiting to watch the Hobbit!

 

Joy in the little things

It seems like it has been a long time since I have really laughed. I laughed last year at a retreat with friends, Kaitlyn & Ariele. I truly was enjoying myself. Through out the rest of last year I found it hard to laugh...to truly laugh and enjoy life.
 I write almost every morning a few things to God in which I am thankful for. It is something I started so that I would not forget all God has given to me. When times are hard its easy to only see the negative things.
What can I say? It's been a hard year, moving to a place unknown...away from all we know. Plus the regular struggles in life, marriage and trying to maintain a healthy time with God. God is truly everything to me and spending time with Him DAILY is vital...and yet at times difficult. There have been times when I love coming to the feet of Jesus and loving Him and soaking in the love He has for me. Then there have been times out of discipline that I come before God and read His word.

Back to Joy....and laughter. This Christmas my husband, Tyler got me a kitty cat. I was shocked...he has a possible allergy and we already have a huge 170lb dog named, Penny. Well this kitten is 5 weeks old as of yesterday. He reminds me of those TY beeny babies! He is so small and cute. I was nervous about having one....time it needs, responsibility etc. However to my suprise I am absolutley taken by this Cat! I love him. I have named him, Baby. I know....cheesy but whatever! :) He looks like Toothless ( the dragon from the movie, "How to Train Your Dragon") . He makes me laugh all the time. I laugh and absolutley love him. I want want is best for him...like I make his food - nasty smelling, yes but it's god for him and he loves it. I woke up twice in the night thinking I heard him meowing for something ( he is still fairly young and needs to be taught things). I can only imagine what having a child would be like! Someday hopefully we can be parents but for now we find joy in our kitten. I truly am thankful for him...and have thanked God every day for "kitty" since he arrived.

December 25

This morning I was like a little kid...woke up at 4:30 to wake Tyler... It's Christmas! I remember as a child waking up all my sisters (who are younger) and waiting for mom & dad to get ready so we could all open presents. We always opened stockings first..then one by one we took turns. There is something special about unwrapping a gift.... I don't gift bags or gift cards... but opening a wrapped gift..it is just so much more fun!

So Tyler & I opened our gifts...he went to back to sleep, silly guy, and I called home...Living so far from home makes me appreciate my family more and more. I am more thankful for the small things.

At 9ish I woke up Tyler and we skyped his family..It was nice to see them. Tyler has a smile on his face and a joy in his voice when he talk's with them. This makes me happy.

We didn't do much after that...which I think is ok. We ate food and watched the grinch. I skyped my sister in Washington later. It was only for 15 minutes or so but how nice to see someone instead of just hearing their voice on the phone.

I think it's hard being away from family ...especially at the holiday's. This morning while Tyler was sleeping I had some time to sit and enjoy the silence..the lights were shining on the tree and all was still.
I closed my eye's and said, Thank You Lord I remember why we celebrate.

Christmas

Currently Frosty the Snowman is on....a tradition we do every year...watching all the Christmas specials. I sang Christmas carols at our Christmas Tea with ladies from bible study today. I have been wrapping gifts this week while the tree lights are on....listening to Christmas music. All the hustle and bustle of Christmas.
We have all the comforts of Christmas but this year (as like last year) my husband and I are thousands of miles away from our friends and family. For me being with family is one of the most special things about the holidays.
However being so far away I am reminded of why we even celebrate Christmas. It is found in Luke 2.

The angels come to the shepherds and say,


 “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people;for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. “This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.”

Key word...YOU
For unto us.....each and everyone of us..... is given the gift of Jesus.

This Christmas I started an advent Calender...homemade...  preparing our hearts for Christmas.
Something that seems more difficult but yt the best thing to do is to turn off all media, put away the phone, shut the door and quietly come before our Savior. Sometimes we may have a lot to say and other times our hearts may e heavy with nothing to say....all this is ok. Coming before our Savior and loving Him, being with Him.... Know He is God.

“Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us).

His Ways are not my ways..

I have been very sick lately. Its been a humbling time for me. I was suppose to start a new job Monday the 18th (I believe) in October. However Sunday I was feelin awful and had a fever. I missed church and couldn't eat a thing..which is not like me. So I had Tyler take me to ER. I felt that was extreme but our insurance only covers ER or Air Force doctors...and everything on base was closed for the weekend. So what I thought would be a quick trip to ER ...sent home with an antibiotic.....became a week long experience. They found MRSA in blood. What is that? I am not totally sure to be honest. I just know its serious and needs to be treated or else you can die. So now I am home but I have a PICC line ...what is that? It is an IV that leads to my heart thru a vein in my arm. I am not totally sure how it works. I know I have to keep it very clean... I hook up to medicine 3 times a day for 2 hours.  I am extrememly tired. I haven't been able to do much and I have needed help...plus I have to wash my hair in the sink and be very careful when washing not to get my arm wet...However I am at my upmost thankfulness to God. Thru this time ( and I always hear how its when we are our lowest God works even more....which I think its just that we realize our need for HIM more) anyway thru this time prayers are being answered. I am at a peace with this...they are not answered in any way I ever expected. But isn't that the way our glorious God works? I am still recoverying ....it will be a long process I know.
Its near the holiday's and we are way from family and friends (being in the miltary) ...we have met some close friends here on base. I must say things are different than I ever thought my life would be..as a child I had any dreams and expectations. I never imagined the hard things or not getting what I wanted. Selfish, yes ....but as a child I just thought things were to be a certain way.
So this Thanksgiving I can truly say  I am thankful. I am thankful my ways are not God's ways. I am thankful for how God is faithful and how HIS peace is only a thing He gives.

Feelings

Two days ago I was flying high on a cloud and very content. I physically felt good and most importantly felt encouraged still from Sunday's message at church. Our Pastor talked on sowing and reaping. Of course the discouraging thing is sowing the things that are sinful and reaping those consequences. However I walked away encouraged to sow good things and see the the change of heart. I have seen this to be true in my life. I see God working in my life and its wonderful. How do I know God is working....because of the convictions in my heart and fear and awe of God.
Now yesterday I wans't feeling well. I had a horrible day to be honest. I was alone all day and felt as if I had no purpose. However I tried my best to not be crabby towards Tyler when he came home. Today I am okay. I am cleaning and trying to stay busy. I started my day like I try to everyday thanking God for different things and then sharing with Him my cares and concerns.
 Isn't is funny how maybe not much in our life has changed and yet each day is so different? This is why it is so vital to not act upon our feelings but what we know is true. The sun may not shine every day and I may not see it BUT I know its still there.

Filled

It has been one of those day where I feel like a nice cat would be nice to curl up with. I am overwhelmed with feelings of lonliness. I have been reading Colossians and what an encouragement that has been. It talks about being full in Christ. I have thought a lot of what that means and dwelling on it the past few days. I realize I have many needs. Many needs no human can ever meet. Tyler being my husband meets a lot of my needs but there are some things that he will and an never fill. I have a lot of thoughts. I think if someone read my mind through out the day they would think I was crazy....my mind travels quickly and thinks randomly. But there is One who is never overwhelmed by the depth and length of my needs. That is Christ. To be filled by Him daily. I am so thankful for prayer that I truly cannot even express it in words. Throughout today I have cried a few times and I have been so blessed to have Christ to share my heart with. I am so blessed with friends and family but there are times when my deepest thoughts are not meant to be shared with anyone but my Father. No matter what we say to Christ there is understanding and love. There is no judgment. I will say there are feelings I have that I know are selfish and worng and I want to talk about them but there is shame and when I come before God in humbleness there is no shame. I am open and honest and then I learn from Him in the stillness.

Today I read about how
God is the head of Christ = ONE GOD
Christ is the head of the Church = ONE BODY
Husband is the head of the wife = ONE FLESH

I am trying to learn what it is to be a woman of God. I never feel like I am a good wife or a good woman in general. I have a hard time matching things and wearing make up ...etc. I sometimes I feel I don't know where I belong. I feel bad at times for my husband because I feel I wish I was better at being a beautiful woman...a woman who reflects her God. Whe fears the Lord.
So I am doing bible study on this desiring to become more like the woman God created me to be. God intentionally made me a woman.

I have been gone for awhile in Michigan for my sisters wedding. What a fun time. I loved being with my family and seeing friends. I haven't seen some of my friends since graduating high school... eight years ago! Crazy how time goes by.

This weekend my husband and I are going to a family life weekend to remember. Its a retreat for married couples. I am so excited because this is really needed for us. We struggle just like any other couple. I hope it will be a life change for the both of us. I try to make Tyler know he is loves and respected but I am not sure I do a good job. At times I wish things were different or I wish I could change certain things but I can't. So I always ask myself, "Ashley, Are you believing God? " I trust my Father in Heaven that I am right where I need to be. I need to trust and obey. Trust and obey..for there is no other  way.

Hope

I have been encouraged this week because of hope. The most imporatant thing is that this hope is not in myself (which would just be discouraging) but in CHRIST. I have felt alone for awhile and very uncertain about things in my life. And as I have been haning on a thread of grace, I am reminded .Who holds the end of that thread!
I was so encouraged a few days ago as I received a letter from a close friend I haven't seen in a long time. She reminded me that its ok to feel the way I do and that God does have a purpose for me. I  had to stop reading this letter so I could cry and finish reading it later. I know these things in my head but to hear from someone else Truth about God was very dear to my heart.
I began a bible study here on the Air Force base. I have to force myself to go and everytime I am blessed. To be surrounded by other women who desire God is always good.
Also someone called me from Allied Buisiness schools to do medial assistanting that is funded by the military. This is encouraging.
Blesses be His name in the good and the bad. Can I say this is true for my life? Oh how I hope so.

a chance to die

The point of this blog is really for myself. To write down my genuine thoughts and how God is working in my life. It is for me to be real. I wanted something to be accountable with. However I haven't written much. I am afraid to open up in exactly what I am learning and experiencing in life. Normlly I wake up and do my quiet time (reading and praying God's word)but lately its been mostly prayer. Life for me right now is hard but who in this world doesn't have difficulties?
Sunday afternoon my husband was gone with his friends and I decided to go for a short walk. I tried calling a sister of mine but there was no answer which prob was a good thing. I ended up pouring my heart out to God. I cried to God. I talked to God on exactly how I felt even if what I was feeling was absolutely sinful and wrong.
Currently my goal in life is to make it thru the day somewhat stable. Those New Year resolutions most people make, I did not. I am always striving to know my God more and desiring to become holy as He is but this is also such a disappointment in life as I am human and always sin. Yet it shows me my desperate need for a Saviour.
Today is the bible study for women on base. I chose to do "Believing God" ...kind of wish I would have chosen "Breaking Free". I wasn't going to go. I have been up all night (got into a fight with my husband). Which is a whole other blog in itself.... but I think it would be good to go.
This once again is a chance to die.

Yesterday I went to the bible study held here on the Air Force Base. I always look foward to these events but then I always get so nervous for some silly reason. I went and there were about 20-25 women. All who are in the military or retired from the military. It was the "kick off" for the new year. We had brunch and signed up for which bible study we would like to do during the next few months. The two we had to chose from were

1. Believing God, by Beth Moore
2. Breaking Free, by Beth Moore

I always have wanted to do Breaking Free because I feel there is so much in my life I wish I could break free from. But I began my day praying about which one to do. I ended up with Believing God. I figure if I truly believe all God has to say in His word I can break free and trust Him in all things.  Since moving here to AZ and not knowing anyone it was nice to have fellowship with other christian women. I am home a lot and at this time I am trying to enjoy this time but I have found myself getting ancy to do something. With one car between my husband and I makes it chalenging to do much but I do believe God knows and cares about my life. I constantly am thinking to myself how thankful I should be to still be alive and married.

my king

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7bIUW7Ipls&feature=player_embedded

That’s My King, I Wonder Do you know Him?
The Bible says my king is the King of the Jews.
He is the King of Israel, He is the King of righteousness,
He’s the King of the ages, He’s the King of heaven.
He’s the King of glory, He’s the King of Kings, and
He’s the Lord of Lords. That’s my King.
I wonder do you know Him?
My King is a sovereign King.
No means of measure can define his limitless love.
He’s enduringly strong, He’s entirely sincere.
He’s eternally steadfast, He’s immortally graceful.
He’s imperially powerful, He’s impartially merciful.
Do you know Him?
He’s the greatest phenomenon that has ever crossed the horizon of this world.
He’s God’s son, He’s the sinner’s savior.
He’s the centerpiece of civilization.
He’s unparalleled, He’s unprecedented.
He is the loftiest idea in literature.
He’s the highest personality in philosophy.
He’s the fundamental doctrine of true theology.
He’s the only one qualified to be an all sufficient savior.
I wonder if you know Him today.
He’s supplies strength for the weak, He’s available for the tempted and the tried.
He sympathizes and He saves. He strengthens and sustains.
He’s God and He died.
He heals the sick, He cleansed the lepers.
He forgives sinners, He discharges debtors.
He delivers the captives, He defends the feeble.
He blesses the young, He serves the unfortunate.
He regards the aged, He rewards the diligent and He beautifies the meek.
I wonder if you know Him.
He is the key to knowledge, He is the wellspring of wisdom.
He’s the doorway of deliverance, He’s the pathway of peace.
He’s the roadway of righteousness, He’s the highway of Holiness.
He’s the gateway of Glory…do you know Him?
His life is matchless, His goodness is limitless.
His mercy is everlasting, His love never changes.
His WORD is enough. His grace is sufficient.
His reign is righteous, His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
I wish I could describe Him to you.
He is indescribable, He’s incomprehensible.
He’s invincible, He’s irresistible.
You can’t get HIM out of your mind.
You can’t get Him off of your hand.
You can’t outlive Him and you can’t live without Him.
The Pharisees couldn’t stand Him, but they found out they could not stop Him.
Pilate couldn’t find any fault in Him. Herod couldn’t kill Him.
Death couldn’t handle Him and the grave couldn’t hold Him.
That’s my KING.
- Rev. S.M. Lockridge

‎1 Corinthians 13---Christmas Version

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls,but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime: but do not show love to my family, I'm just another co.........ok.

If I work at a soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home, and give all that I have to charity; but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angelsand crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.

Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the spouse.

Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love does not envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love does not yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.

Love does not give only to those who are able to give in return; but rejoices in giving to those who cannot.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Love never fails.

Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust; but giving the gift of love will endure.

---Sharon Jaynes, Celebrating a Christ Centered Christmas

I do not love

" If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing."

1 Corithinans 13:1-3

Last night as I lay in bed I began thinking of why my life seemed so bland. I wake up every day and write down things I am thankful to God for. I then write things I need to surrender that day to Him and seek His help thru reading the bible.  I try and keep a clean and cozy home for my husband, fixing warm meals and making home welcoming. I try and be friends with those around me and give to the needy when I can. As of this week I have given out a gospel of John and some candy (it was all the food I had.lol) I try and keep peace with others and especially family.
The other day I was talking to my sister who is quite angry with our Father. He is on his third marriage and has done a lot of hurt in the past. She was sharing on how she felt on this new wife of his and then she asked me how I felt about it. Truly I have forgiven him and have moved on. I was quick to answer in sayingthat I had no feelings about it. I wasn't really excited and I wasn't angry or sad. I was numb, which I thought was a good thing. But then lying in bad last night I realized how numb I was to most relationships in my life. I thought about what it would take for me to cry or to "feel" something towards something. Even to the exageration of death....would I cry if "so and so" died? To be as honest (I don't want to hurt others feeling) but I could truly only think of a handful of people that would cause me to cry if they were taken from this life. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!???? I was mortified with myself. How could this be? How did I become so numb to people's souls!!?? I couldn't sleep. As I layed there numb and sick feeling these verses came to my head. "I do everything right" I was thinking in my head, my bible reading,praying,helping others, faithful wife etc. The list in my head could go on. But then it hit me. It hit me hard.  I did all these things without love. I did not help others or keep a clean house because I love people. It was just the right thing to do.
This morning I am writing what I learned of myself last night. I am full of something...maybe a desire to love. I know love is a choice and an action. But how does it come from the heart?

Lord, open my heart and eyes to YOU! YOU ARE LOVE!

"The Cycle" Ecclesiastes 1:1-18

"Vanity of vanities! All is vanity."

 This is what comes to mind when thinking of Ecclesiastes. Solomon, son of David wrote this book. He had everything a person could ever want in life. He had riches, wisdom, possessions,servants, silver,gold etc. Yet he starts by saying "Vanity of vanities! All is vanity." When I first started reading this book it was an encouragement and yet a discouragement. Is everything really useless? Why go on with life if nothing matters? Yet on an encouraging note I felt like there was understanding on my life by reading this.

 "What advantage does man have in all his work which he does under the sun? A generation goes and a generation comes, but the Earth remains forever. Also the sun rises and the sun sets; And hastening to its place it rises there again." (vv.3-5) 

Does using the word vainity mean that something is altogether worthless? Going back to the question if everything is really useless I question what the word vainity is really saying. Hevel is the hebrew word used for vainity. It implies a vapor or breath. Having looked up this word and reading that definition it changes my view of what this Solomon, son of David was saying. Things come and things go. Dsyfunctional familiy patterns seem to resurface from generation to generation. The sun rises and the sun sets. The waters, sun and wind are always in constant motion, but what does it accomplish? In view of eternity this life on earth seems to not satisfy. In my own life I have lived in many places, I have at times had barely enough and at times been richly blessed. I have merry times with family and very sad times with family. I have eaten meat, gone vegetarian (didn't last too long), went to eating organic and "going green." Yet none of this was new and it is nothing that any other person hasn't gone thru. At one point in my life things seems so sad to me and reading this it can bring a depression to someone reading "Vanity of vanities! All is vanity."  Set against eternity things on this earth do not have real value. Thankfully our friend Solomon doesn't end here. In the very last chapter of his book he writes,  " When all has been heard, the conclusion of the matter is: fear God and keep His commands, because this is for all humanity." (ch.12 v13)  We should enjoy our time under this sun on Earth. Life is like a vapor or a breath. I have tried to understand things on this Earth and of this life but I remember a verse my grandfather has shared with me many times. It is found in Deuteronomy 29:29. It says " The hidden things belong to the Lord our God, but the revealed things belong to us and our children forever, so that we may follow all the words of the Lord."   There are things I will not know or understand butthe things the Lord has revealed to us in His word  to us is mine and yours forever. We are to fear God, keep his commands and be faithful in what we do know.
This brings me to the end of my first blog with a quote from the famous C.S Lewis.

“If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world”