Two days ago I was flying high on a cloud and very content. I physically felt good and most importantly felt encouraged still from Sunday's message at church. Our Pastor talked on sowing and reaping. Of course the discouraging thing is sowing the things that are sinful and reaping those consequences. However I walked away encouraged to sow good things and see the the change of heart. I have seen this to be true in my life. I see God working in my life and its wonderful. How do I know God is working....because of the convictions in my heart and fear and awe of God.
Now yesterday I wans't feeling well. I had a horrible day to be honest. I was alone all day and felt as if I had no purpose. However I tried my best to not be crabby towards Tyler when he came home. Today I am okay. I am cleaning and trying to stay busy. I started my day like I try to everyday thanking God for different things and then sharing with Him my cares and concerns.
Isn't is funny how maybe not much in our life has changed and yet each day is so different? This is why it is so vital to not act upon our feelings but what we know is true. The sun may not shine every day and I may not see it BUT I know its still there.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
It has been one of those day where I feel like a nice cat would be nice to curl up with. I am overwhelmed with feelings of lonliness. I have been reading Colossians and what an encouragement that has been. It talks about being full in Christ. I have thought a lot of what that means and dwelling on it the past few days. I realize I have many needs. Many needs no human can ever meet. Tyler being my husband meets a lot of my needs but there are some things that he will and an never fill. I have a lot of thoughts. I think if someone read my mind through out the day they would think I was crazy....my mind travels quickly and thinks randomly. But there is One who is never overwhelmed by the depth and length of my needs. That is Christ. To be filled by Him daily. I am so thankful for prayer that I truly cannot even express it in words. Throughout today I have cried a few times and I have been so blessed to have Christ to share my heart with. I am so blessed with friends and family but there are times when my deepest thoughts are not meant to be shared with anyone but my Father. No matter what we say to Christ there is understanding and love. There is no judgment. I will say there are feelings I have that I know are selfish and worng and I want to talk about them but there is shame and when I come before God in humbleness there is no shame. I am open and honest and then I learn from Him in the stillness.