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Monday, November 5, 2012

His Ways are not my ways..

I have been very sick lately. Its been a humbling time for me. I was suppose to start a new job Monday the 18th (I believe) in October. However Sunday I was feelin awful and had a fever. I missed church and couldn't eat a thing..which is not like me. So I had Tyler take me to ER. I felt that was extreme but our insurance only covers ER or Air Force doctors...and everything on base was closed for the weekend. So what I thought would be a quick trip to ER ...sent home with an antibiotic.....became a week long experience. They found MRSA in blood. What is that? I am not totally sure to be honest. I just know its serious and needs to be treated or else you can die. So now I am home but I have a PICC line ...what is that? It is an IV that leads to my heart thru a vein in my arm. I am not totally sure how it works. I know I have to keep it very clean... I hook up to medicine 3 times a day for 2 hours.  I am extrememly tired. I haven't been able to do much and I have needed I have to wash my hair in the sink and be very careful when washing not to get my arm wet...However I am at my upmost thankfulness to God. Thru this time ( and I always hear how its when we are our lowest God works even more....which I think its just that we realize our need for HIM more) anyway thru this time prayers are being answered. I am at a peace with this...they are not answered in any way I ever expected. But isn't that the way our glorious God works? I am still recoverying will be a long process I know.
Its near the holiday's and we are way from family and friends (being in the miltary) ...we have met some close friends here on base. I must say things are different than I ever thought my life would a child I had any dreams and expectations. I never imagined the hard things or not getting what I wanted. Selfish, yes ....but as a child I just thought things were to be a certain way.
So this Thanksgiving I can truly say  I am thankful. I am thankful my ways are not God's ways. I am thankful for how God is faithful and how HIS peace is only a thing He gives.

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